Lifeless Me !!!!!

Woke up around 9 today and started to dota + do assignments till now .. Until now only wrote 300++ words .. 700 more words to go ..

My life now is pretty lifeless when my dad is working outstation .. I'm getting overboard cause when his not around no one can control me accept for myself .. BahhHHH !! When can i stop this habit ?? I really want to change but its kinda difficult .. I think I really have to stop it and stop being a lier to myself and others .. =( .. Someone have to really help me !!! Maybe a companion really helps a lot .. =) .. Cause I'm the kind of person who tends to listen more to others rather than my parents , than makes me rebellious .. I really want to change but it seems impossible unless someone out there can change me .. =) ..

Bahhh ... Kinda frustrated now .. Regretted for all the dumb things that I have done , doing stuffs that disappoint my parents .. Maybe I have to really make the initiative to really change and not make my parents feel sad and worry about me .. Haih .. When will I change???