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It's pretty hard to control our emotions at times .. Wouldn't be amused if you see people around us emo once awhile .. Emotions control us all the time, which leads us to drastic actions .. =/ .. Being cool at times do help a little bit, hiding emotions is the worst I can do .. Sometimes it's good that if someone out there reach out to our problems and is there to talk to us .. Anyone would do of cause, as long as we feel comfortable talking to them .. =) ..

Well, I don't really let my emotions out .. It's pretty sucked up if I let them go, I myself don't even dare to look at the mirror if I let them go .. =/ .. It is always the same old thing that makes me loose control .. I had great patience, but once I let loose that's it .. =/ .. I don't know why it has to be always the same god damn **** reason that provokes me .. I seriously ****ing hate it .. =/ ..

Why they like to assume, why they like to judge, why they like to compare, why they want to restrict me, why they are so ****ing scared, why they want to pressure me, why they don't keep their promises, why they want to **** me for the same reason all the time .. These are the questions that always disturbing me .. =/ .. I've been facing these questions since I was form 2 .. These things build me up for what I am today .. May it be a failure or a success, I always stay strong to prove them wrong ..

Well it happened again today .. Lucky I managed to stay cool and control my emotions .. =/ .. It's pretty tough to go through things by myself after so many years .. But again this toughen me up (TTFU - Toughen The **** Up) .. Lol .. Yeah, so what I want to do from now on is to really focus focus and focus .. That's all I can do for now base on my situation, is focus on studies .. That's what they always wanted, I shall fulfill my dreams and part of their dreams I suppose .. If they want to threathen me, I just have to obey what they say .. I can't afford to lose this golden opportunity .. =/ .. They are my platform to success, are my everything but and yet I don't know how to appreciate them as they always say I care for friends more than them .. It's not that I don't appreciate them, I'm not a person that show many feelings, I do love them very much but I don't know how to express to them, I don't know why, I tried but I couldn't ..

If I were to type it out big in font 72 saying that I love them a lot that doesn't show my love towards them isn't it ?? I've been appreciating them since the day I was born, I was not born with a silver spoon, but I never blame them for anything .. I understand them, I love them so much, but I don't just express to them .. I don't get them gifts for Mother's Day, Father's Day, don't get them birthday present .. I gave them shitty results, shitty attitude, burden, worries, disappoinments and everything not that always want .. It all comes to me when it comes to these stuffs, I choose them cause I was obligated and distracted by the computer .. Indeed, this is the problem that make the questions about arise .. Doubts and hatred against me .. =/ ..

Well, honestly the invention of computers brought disaster compared to benefits .. This is what they thought and many other parents out there think .. I'm 100% sure bout this and I'm not assuming .. I'm sure a lot of parents scold/nag or whatever shit they do to their children cause of the computer or whatsoever technology that makes them a suckass .. I don't want to further to comment anymore cause it seems illogical to say things bout technologies as a disaster .. =/ .. Think twice for those parents who state these stuffs .. =) ..

Well should be signing off by now .. Hope everything ends tonight .. =/ ..

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

[Chorus]
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Tonight,
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

=/ ..